Life is all about learning, and learning can happen anywhere. The idea for this blog emerged from a conversation I had at a salon very recently. I visit that place once in a month/two months for any personal care needs.
Since I mostly work from home, my access to the outside world is fairly limited, so whenever I get a chance to step outside, I do not miss the opportunity to interact with someone new. This time around, I started talking to the person who was trimming my hair, it happened to be the same person who had catered to me back in December also.
Beyond the pleasantries
As she started working on my hair, we began talking about some usual stuff – hair care, hot weather hair care tips etc. At one point, I thanked her for sharing her valuable knowledge with me and she was totally surprised. I wondered if I had said something wrong, to which she said, no one had ever told her that what she knew was valuable or information worth thanking her for.
My choice of words had made her feel valued. That was my first lesson in having a meaningful conversation.
Getting Comfortable
As a few minutes passed, she grew more comfortable in the conversation and asked me if I remembered her name. I knew she had shared her name with me back in December, and I had made a note of it. Without hesitation, I blurted it out. The shine in her eyes was unmissable!
There were a couple of more instances where I referenced some points from our December conversation. She complimented me on my memory, that I remembered what all she had shared, unlike many others that she interacts with on a daily basis. She opened up more about her struggles, how she is trying to set up her own clientele and even invited me to her future wedding which is not even fixed!
Authentic Listening
As I walked back home, I introspected about what had just happened and came to the conclusion that the most important ingredient in a conversation is the ability to genuinely listen to the other person. Most of us start framing responses the moment people start talking to us, and we get so busy in it, that we lose touch with what they were saying.
A meaningful conversation is less about what you say, but what stays with the person when the conversation is over. More important than speaking, is listening. Paying attention to small details they mention, paraphrasing some of their thoughts back to them and authentically listening to the other person goes a long way is making them feel heard.
It was because I remembered bits from our December conversation, my salon attendant felt comfortable enough to confide in me; she saw the proof of the fact that I was genuinely listening. I was happy to have brought a smile to her face.
Small instance, but really big lesson. Try to reflect on whether you genuinely listen and let me know in the comments!
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
Photo by Cody Engel on Unsplash
