Did you miss me?

I’m a proud chatterbox. The hardest dare for me is to keep shut! I take pride in being an extrovert and being comfortable expressing myself! I love making new friends, meeting new people and having deep meaning conversations over coffee and food. That’s the version of myself I grew up with!

The obvious reason why I am writing this is because things didn’t stay so for very long. The rollercoaster of my life was apparently in its downward stretch. I couldn’t find likeminded people with whom I could talk my heart out. And the ones I had had in the past, disappeared into thin air. As if the emotional burden wasn’t enough trouble already, my academics started to bother me. Because I was so full of questions and ideas and unexpressed emotions, my mind was in a constant blur.

I did have sudden flashes of clarity but they didn’t help. I could never imagine myself to be short of that one person I could tell everything to. When I met certain people in college who reminded me of myself, it hit me so hard that I cried for days! Why? Because I missed myself and how I used to conduct myself around people! I missed the ‘conversations’ I was yearning to have! I missed the presence of that one confidante I had lost with whom I would talk endlessly about anything under the sky! From politics, to sports to books to philosophy to the most random and the most weird things! I’m a conversationalist! And that is exactly what was missing!

Have you ever had the feeling of missing your own being? Well, the fact of the matter is, you may succeed in deceiving everyone around you. But, you cannot pretend to your own self. It’s a trap.

Coming to a dead end with your own self is the worst case scenario. So survive! Not for anyone but for yourself. Because you are your own constant companion! If there’s someone you must depend and fall back on, it must be you and you alone.

And how did I survive? By filling my life with books and cherishing myself to be my lifelong companion.

P.S I don’t mean to suggest that you don’t need any friends in life or you should be all too much for yourself. What I am trying to convey here is that if a time comes when you’re left alone or unfortunately become distant, be your own companion and be comfortable in your own skin!

P.P.S Yes, that’s me as Jim Moriarty!